My Longkang

Marriage is for keeps. That is the thought going through all couples’ mind as they repeat their marriage vows. Tonight I had the privilege of having supper with some friends and marriage as a topic was raised.

Marriage vows was discussed.

For better or for worse,
for richer or for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
and till death do us part.

We marry and expect to grow old with our chosen one. Like it or not, we all grow old eventually and the children become more and more important. They are our deepest concern, our pride and joy. We expect the family unit to go on till the end of our days through good times and bad times, in sickness and in health for richer and for poorer until death comes along.

However, sometimes marriages do break down. It is made worse by children and court custody cases. There are no winners in such cases. Everybody loses except perhaps the lawyers.

Take the case of Ponnudurai Krishnasamy, 46, who tried to persuade his 17-year-old son, Darvinesh, to go home with him. Despite the High Court on Monday granting him temporary custody of Darvinesh and his two sisters — Darmilla, 14, and Karisma, 11 — he failed to persuade his son to follow him home.

I can feel the heart break all parties feel. The mother, the father and the son.

“I’m not leaving mama alone,” he said. “I want to stay with mama. How can you treat her like this? You don’t love us. Where were you when mama and Darmilla were ill? I had to call my friends to help me take them to the hospital in a cab. You were never there for me… I want to be with mama.”

It is so sad. He is 17 years old. No one can force him to do what he doesn’t want to do. I want to make it clear I don’t look at anybody as the villain in this case. These things do happen in life.

Both parents love their children very much. In fact all parents love their children very much whether they show it or not.

The mother is reported to have said, “I have no choice but to let my husband take my children as he has a court order. But in the end, it is up to Darvinesh. He is old enough to make his own decision.”

I can only hope that even with the situation at this stage, both the parents sit down together and work out a plan for the children’s future. That should be the first priority. They have to do it. The children should be of paramount importance.

Source The NST