My Longkang

Pic courtesy of familycarewv.org.

For a woman, chastity is still a highly prized commodity. Even as little girls, they are taught to sit properly and behave in a socially accepted manner. Sometimes, situations get out of hand, but if there is no pregnancy the situation is still under control.

For Malaysia, values are rapidly changing and an unwed mother doesn’t raise as many eye-brows as it once did. But it is still a grave problem to all concerned. To the couple and their families and of course, the ugly gossip that follows.

I only wish they knew the whereabouts of organizations who are ever willing to help them. I suspect they know but how to divulge such sensitive information? As time goes by, it becomes harder and harder to hide the truth. They get terrified and often seek illegal ways to solve the problem.

In one documented case , a schoolgirl managed to hide her pregnancy from her parents, bought a book on childbirth so she would know what to do when the time came. After giving birth in her bedroom, she left the baby in her cupboard and went to sit for her PMR exam!

Compare this to the eagerly awaited for birth of a child in ‘normal’ families. The grandparents, uncles, aunties all get into the act. I have just come back from a visit to a family and I saw the loving environment and material advantages their children have. Babies are basically just babies. They are formed biologically when a male sperm meets a female egg and fertilization successfully occurs. When the baby is formed, it is innocent. It didn’t ask to be born. Therefore it shouldn’t be blamed for the sins of his/her parents.

These girls are usually young with not enough money of their own and their boyfriends have washed their hands off them. They only want to hide from people. I sometimes wonder after the babies are abandoned: do the mothers grief and feel guilt? Silly of me, of course they do.

By then, the passage of time has made them more mature and realized they were not as optionless as they once thought. But will they come back to claim the child after it has been adopted?

These abandoned babies, what will happen to them? To read relevant articles

Growing up abandoned and angry
When joy turns to horror
An unwed mother’s fear

This post is partly inspired by the fairy-tale story of abandoned Vietnamese baby Pax Thien Jolie who was adopted by Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.