My Longkang

40 year old woman, still attractive but very tired and very worried.

Sophia: I didn’t serve him dinner last night. I let him starve. He is 16 years old, my eldest he is and should have known better. Why does he always rebel against me? I have tried my best, God knows! It is not easy to be a single mother with three sons. All he had to do was to go to school. I don’t expect him to be ‘pandai pandai’ ( very clever ). All he has to do is pass his SPM and go to technical school and become a mechanic. I have starved, scrimped and sacrificed everything for them

He didn’t come home the other night. I was so worried. I searched everywhere. Finally the following night,a policeman called asking if I knew where my son was. It turned out he was in the lock-up. He has no motorcycle license. I intended to let him sit for one but the rice festival is so near. It takes at least RM600 to get a license including driving school fees etc.

I forbid him to use the motorcycle but he took it anyway. I wanted to sell it but I need it to go out and earn a living

There was a road block. My stupid son tried to run away. The police chased after him. He hit against a traffic light. After another long chase, he knocked a car. Now I have to spend so much money to get him out of trouble. There will be a trial and he has broken so many offenses. How am I going to feed everybody? The rental needs to be paid. I need to pay compensation to the car owner too. I tried to beg on my son’s behalf but I was told that the police have to go by the book. I admit my son broke all the laws

I heard the other day, another young man tried to run away from a police road block and killed himself in an accident. The police now, no joke-joke lah. They thought my son is a criminal because he tried to run away.

I told him, ” Awak memang nasib dilahirkan manusia. Kalau awak binatang, lama sudah mak buang awak.” It means literally you are lucky to be born a human. If you are an animal, I would have thrown you away a long time ago.

It is the friends he hangs out with. They are all drop-outs and unemployed. My son is a good boy He faces a maximum fine of RM5000. If I saved all my life, I wouldn’t be able to earn that sum of money. Bengbeng: do you think it would help if I pleaded with the judge for mercy and ask to pay in instalments?

I can try to find another job after my regular hours. I can wash dishes, serve at coffee shops or be a cook. Maybe I can ask around supermarkets if they need part-time workers or maybe someone needs a maid.

Ya Tuhan, sampai bila ini, aku kena menderita begini? ( Until when will I have to suffer like this )
I thank God he is still alive. He is still injured though but at least he is home now. Now I wake up at 4a.m. to cook for my children. It saves me money I cannot afford for them to eat in the school canteen. I work until 5.00p.m. This means I still got at least another 6 or 7 hours a day to earn more money.

Would it have made a difference if the family had a father figure? Yes, I think it matters to have a father figure in a family of boys. We are merely speculating of course, but it might have made a difference. The poor woman is earning a low pay and all her life she has toiled for her children sacrificing everything for them.