I went over to to Air Itam to visit an old friend. I knew something was wrong when I rang the bell. I asked to meet Bets and she came out. I didn’t recognize her. She was once a proud and beautiful woman, who loves tight black dresses and frequents night spots.
She came out the door and used an umbrella to shield herself from the sun. The love of her life had long since left her after her father objected to the inter-racial marriage. He is a doctor of Indian origin. It was the biggest mistake of his life. Now there are two single sisters staying in her house. The other sister is a commisioner-of-oaths and still leading an active life.
Her hair had turned white and she was very skinny and her hair had been cropped to a boyish cut. All traces of feminity had been removed from her appearance. She was dressed in a pair of pyjamas but she didn’t feel any unease meeting me dressed like that.
Bets: I cannot go on like this. I have to wait for every minute to pass. Every minute takes such a long time. I am almost blind now. Cataracts. My bones are stiff with arthritis and painful. I joined the Gospel Hall. I became baptized and now I pray the Lord releases me from this life as soon as possible. I find it so hard to go on.
The sleeping pills don’t work as well as they did before. I try so hard to get 8 hours of sleep every night. My psychiatrist says if I don’t get my 8 hours of sleep, my mind will be wasted and my mental health will deteoriate.
I cannot take any sugar and my diet is so bland. I can’t see well enough to go out to get a bus any more. This house has now become my prison. I don’t have a single friend left in the world now.
I am the loser nobody wants.
it pains me to see her reduced to this state. She is living in a spotless semi-detached house at the foot of Penang Hill. She cannot stand having company because of the noise and mess they make and yet she misses having company.
I am not a professional. No amount of advice or counseling could console her. I only wish I have a magic wand that i could wave around and everything would be alright 