How do you express and receive love?
Tonight’s post is about personal relationships.
I had arrived at a restaurant where my family was waiting for me. Benghui rushed up to my car, shouting in glee to see me, “Daddy! Daddy!” It really touched my heart to see his love for me so transparent on his face.
I decided to teach him a lesson. I told him to not rush across the street like that as it was dangerous. He then told me he had looked at the traffic already and decided it was safe to cross the road.
I then explained to him he had frightened me as I worried for his safety. He asked me why I was worried. I asked him, “Don’t you know daddy and mummy love you?”
He answered immediately, “No”. That stopped me in my tracks. Where had I gone wrong? I had given him everything I could, my time, material things, everything most children would want.
I then asked him what he wanted from me. In total innocense he said, “A hug and more time together.” He is only eight years old! That is a very matured answer. It is true that since five years old I have been keeping him at arm’s length. Benghui is a very physical person, always liking to touch and hug us. I had that stopped at the age of five as I wanted him to be more ‘adult’ and train him to be more of a boy than a baby.
I guess i was wrong. I was very wrong. I then learned tonight at a bible study which I really didn’t want to attend the five ways to express love.
1. physical touch or human contact
2. words of affirmation of love
3. quality time with the people who matter to us
4. gifts not necessarily expensive but enough to show we care
for them
5. acts of service e.g. doing the dishes, helping with the
housework, going for functions important to the person loved
although we are busy .
I used it to review my relationship with my wife and child and realize how much I have been lacking as a husband and as a father.
To end this post, I would like to ask you these few question to help you reflect upon yourself in this similar position whether as a child,a parent or just a friend.
1. How do your parents show they love you?
2. When were the times you felt most loved by them?
3. How do you express love to your close friends?
4. How do you express love to your spouse?
5. How do you express love to your children?
1 John 3:18
Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
This is a fine post. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Perhaps you shouldn’t stop him from showing his affection to you (in this case hugging). Touch is a way to show love.
Maybe he’s too small to understand the big word such as love. I know I didn’t understand ‘Love’ when I was small. I only know that my parents care for me a lot.
I shall answer questions 1-3.
1. My parents never say “I Love You†to me but deep down I know they love me. Their love = care for me, do things without complaining, worry about me, pray for me
2. When I’m sick and during my graduation day
3. I care and help them however and whichever way I could
Thank you very much for sharing. You are a good child of your parents. I am sure as parents when you were growing up, your parents must have worried for you as every parent does. But you have proven yourself
my 5yr old boy is a physical person - he enjoys hugging & kissing my wife & i, & i can tell you the warm touch i feel from his embrace is priceless.
you should let your boy be, though he may naturally grow out of it later on.
Doc : I was wrong. I wanted to make a tough man out of gim but it misfired It put a distance between us I think.He couldnt understand why i didnt want to hug or touc him as when he was a child
Ha ha ha ha….first, the Please add 7 and 0 bit before posting. Got me confused there! 8? 0? wah??? where are all those jumbled words and alphabets? need skill to post comments!
anyway, it’s a brilliant post, this one. I’ve asked my kids (both sons) if mommy can hug them like this even when they are very very very VERY big and they both promised me that I can. Whether they will or not remains to be seen but I want to.
Everybody needs a hug once in a while.
Thank goodness you realized early and have decided to make a couple of tweaks to how you epxress love. Smart kid you have there!
BB: I visited yr blog. It is cool. I encourage other readers to visit Marsha’s blog too.