My Longkang

A fren Leonard dropped into town.

Character: 32 yrs old, married with 3 kids. Black belt holder in one of the martial arts, handsome in an unplanned manner. Height: 1.74m and weight 68kg. He doesn’t have to dress well or care about grooming his hair. It is all there, part of the package. Ladies love him and he loves the ladies.

Leonard:”Bengbeng, you got to help me. I need to see a doctor. He sounded so serious, I left my home immediately to go to his hotel.”
(Turns out I have been had-he was fit as a fiddle.)
Leonard: I had to do it. You are all the time blogging.Take me to a massage parlour.(He had heard of a fat Iban lady. She is rumoured to be super-strong and yet competent in her massage skills. )

So, I took him there. It didn’t look promising. The staircase up looked gloomy and low-class. It was empty except for a middle aged lady behind the counter who didn’t speak English.

Mdm X: Nadai orang. Tunggu. (nobody,wait). Itu pompuan Iban udah henti kerja. ( the Iban lady has stopped working here ). Ada laki tapi dia orang nak nemu massage body ( there are male masseurs but they don’t do body massage. ) She then made a few phone calls.

Then came in 2 very young ladies: looked not a day over nineteen. Fresh-faced, fair complexion and long hair tied in a pony tail. Tall and slim as only very young girls can be with no possibility of any excess body fat evident.

My friend picked one and I left to pick him up one hour later. He did offer to pay a foot massage for me but I don’t feel easy in this kind of situation or establishment. It just read “loud and anything can happen” to me. To me, if Mrs Bengbeng isn’t likely to like the place, then it is not my place.

One hour later:
Leonard:
“:?<<(*&% Wasted one hour of my life. It started ok. They gave me a cup of bland warm tea. Then I was asked to strip and wear a boxer shirts big enough for two of me. They didn’t even put up a screen. I didnt want to to appear naked in front of the whole establishment. I had to pull the screen myself. I then wore the boxer shorts and stood up to open the screen and instantly my boxers dropped!

The two girls giggled.

She didn’t put a towel on the hole for the face on the massage bunk. The bunk smelled of previous occupants. She was rude and curt and rough. She thinks she is so beautiful. I didn’t even make a pass at her. She just reluctantly makes the motions of massage. During the massage, she received phone calls. Her fingernails were not well cut and they cut into my skin. She wore a bracelet which jangled every time she moved her hand. She used so little oil, that her hands created friction on my skin, further enhancing the unpleasant experience.

She was rough, unskilled and making a pretense of massage. She just hurt me in the wrong places. There was no system. She just randomly massage here and there. Sibu massage girl here so bad one huh!

Towards the end, she circled my privates always near and not quite touching. Of course there was some reaction. She then smiled this pretty young lady and asked for a generous tip. Her bad breath hit me like an oncoming truck. I got up and left.

I didn’t leave a tip.