She ain’t heavy, she’s my grandma
Character: 27 year old lady teacher. Figure-slim and height 1.56m
Rose : I am 27 years old. Every day after school, I go home and my 94-year-old grandmother would be sitting by the window waiting for me.
She doesn’t need much sleep. She wakes up at four in the morning. I prepare some breakfast for her. Mostly it is crackers which she dips in coffee. She is really feeble now. She walks on the type of walking stick that ends with 4 legs. She has fallen twice already.
I have no choice but to leave her alone until I come home. She will be patiently waiting to see my face. Then she will eat what I cook and amber off to her room. The cost of diapers is a heavy burden on my meager income.
I cannot bring visitors back home. She will hang around visitors making almost incomprehensible sounds. She is still very intelligent . It is just that she has lost the energy to speak aloud. Her hearing is also almost gone. No matter how I try, the house smells like a hospital.
Taking care of her is almost a full-time job. It is very taxing on me. I feel so tired. So very tired, Bengbeng. (Sobs) I do not have a social life at all. I meet nobody after I leave school. I cannot go to church. I cannot go to Bible Study. She is still physically very fit. But the day will come when she is bed-ridden. I am so tired.
It was not always like that. When I was a child, she took good care of me. She was always so loving and kind. Nowadays she keeps nagging and scolding in her incomprehensible manner. She walked to school with me and walked back with me. She was already in her 70’s. She is from Sarikei. Every body decided she couldn’t be left alone.
She will complain to every body I leave her alone every day. She will say I am a very bad person. She will hoard things in her room expecting me to steal them when she is not looking. I need to go to work. I cannot allow her to cook. She used to sneak cigarettes in her room. But I have stopped all that. I am afraid she will burn down the house. Once a thief came in and stole some things. She was powerless and just let it happen. I don’t know if she was aware. She probably was because she didn’t want to come out of the room until I called her name.
My prospects of marriage are nil. You marry me, you marry my grandmother. I love her very much but I am so tired. Being a care-giver saps my energy. If I marry, will my children be this good to me? What will happen to me when I grow old like her if I don’t get married? ( she said this while looking pensively at her granny )
No, Bengbeng. There is no money left to inherit.
Bengbeng | interesting characters, thoof
Touching story. I guess not everybody is blessed with the opportunity to serve others. Maybe they are but they just don’t see it.
Bryan, I didnt intend this as a touching story when I blogged it. It was just a statement of fact of life in Malaysia. Most people would think of farming old folks to old folks home as disrespectful. There is another occupant in the house. Eleven year old dog which keeps the granny company. But the dog doesnt see well or hear well too and walks with difficulty too. !! years in dog yrs is very old too
For some, life is tough. But she’s still young and healthy and employed. Take that as a blessing and live one day at a time. Praying can help if she believes in God. Keep her talking about it. She’ll find her own answers.
They are two generations apart. But seriously, these problems abound all over Malaysia, be it age related or sickness. Our country is not a welfare state so the people will just have to rough it out. Accept what comes.
we should give her granddaughter of the year award!
it is a difficult task
hi bengbeng, i really enjoy ur snapshort observations and quotes of conversations u have had from random people u know. it is fascinating to see what their lives are like, their thoughts and hopes or fears. i always bear in mind that these are snapshorts of one moment of their lives and may not be representative of their usual self.They may be feeling particularly down or happy and just want to tell someone about it, and u are obviously a sympathetic listener. Thanks for sharing their conversation with us.
Anthony, thanks! It is nice to know one is not writing into a void
She needs a support group badly and fast. Isn’t there any other cousin or uncle/aunt who can chip in a little money to ease her money worry? If she’s in Cheras area, the Little Sisters of the Poor usually takes in old folks for day care. Perhaps her church will have some good Samaritans who can keep grandma company once in a while so that this girl can go out for Bible study or a movie etc… Life is too short for this girl to be so miserable. But one thing’s for sure - get help!
This is not a temporary thingy. Who dares to undertake such a gargantuan task?
She is not going to get any better and the costs involved are so high.
I don’t want to be a grandmother who will become a burden to any of my grandchildren or even children.
Somethings though cannot be helped….life takes you where you sometimes don’t want to go.
I want to ‘go’ when my time is up and not linger too long.