Children and academic progress
I hang my head up in shame. I have finally done it. I never thought I would do it. It is wrong but it came out of my mouth. I will have to fulfill it.
Bengbeng: Go and study. Stop playing! Don’t just sit there. blalalalblbbllaaaa bla bla bla ….all falls on deaf ears His examinations is next week and he doesn’t seem like he has a single care in the world.
His only response: My Sunday School teacher wants me to pay RM10.00 for an activity book.
Time is passing by and his examination is drawing nearer. He doesn’t seem to be having a working relationship with his books at all.
Bengbeng: Look, I will pay you RM1.00 for every subject over 90 and 50 sen for every subject over 80. If your position in class is less than 25, I will take you to kfc.
Do you think it made any difference? The pic says it all. However if he gets any mark over 80 or 90 or gets a good position, I will have to fulfill my promise 
He will remember this for the rest of his school career I think. I wonder how other parents deal with kids who are just not inclined to study.
Am I the only one?
Update: Mrs Bengbeng has promised him a remote control car if he get position 10 or less in the exams . I think this will go on
My parents will shower me with loads of philosophies like, “Oh okay, so now you do not want to study, do you think we are affected so much? You’re the one who’s not going to gain anything, and if you dont want to study, we can’t possibly feed you forever so yada yada yada yada…”
To escape from their nags. I’d rather study! Hahaha and thankfully because of their advise, I managed to move on and on in my studies. Hopefully I could become a lawyer and repay them with loads of things they couldn’t get when they were young.
May we adopt you? You are such a good boy.
Kuai kia,k kuai kuai kuai
I still remember my parents nagging at me during schooling days…aiyoyo. They did use $ to tempt me to study but their nagging works more than the $. Ahh and tuition too.
Usually it’s more to you get x amount of As for UPSR/SRP/SPM then they’ll buy expensive present
for us.
To be honest, bribing with money is not really a good motivation to get someone to study even when it’s sometimes the easiest.
i know..i know
sometimes sigh sigh
Bengbeng, my dad used to say to us, “Study first, play later”. Used to get us all nervous that we might fail our tests…so quickly go and study but my brains will be dreaming of playing this and that. So, I did not go to university unlike my sister.
I try not to tell my kids to study first, play later but last week I had to say it to my son because he is capable of achieving 1st class but got 2nd class for his first year Economics/Finance course. Girlfriend lah and peers lor….cheeecchhhh!!
Like my mother said to me, “Don’t yell or nag too much because then it will not be effective in the long run”. I can also tell you children like Benghui, I have seen, no need to study also attain high marks.
I am sure you don’t mind rewarding Benghui (it is like rewarding yourself too).
i feel like a hypocrite
when i was young i was left to my own devices. i studied bcoz i wanted to do well in my exams not bcoz my dad wanted me to 
my dad bribe me with a car if i get straight A, but i didn’t get it, instead i get straight B ha ha, no car
wuah..mayb i better bribe him with a toy car
but honestly it is not advisable 
i was too frustrated but the words oledi out of the mouth
Mmmm.. how come my parents never give me any toys or money geh in the past despite getting first position every semester in class? If not I will have heaps of toys liao. Hahhahha..
if u visit me, i promise u first choice of Benghui’s discarded toys hahahhahaah.
tell him if he doesn’t get 1st in class he’s out the door!
hahahhah. i am not so authoritarian hahaahahhah
My parents never promised any presents for getting good results. They never pressured me and my sis to spend time studying. I turned out quite all right, not the top of the class and got quite good results
What I’m trying to say is, if BengHui is not interested in studying, it could be:
1) He’s not at the age where he’s interested. Don’t worry he will want to study as he grows older.
2) His talents and skills are elsewhere. In this case try to encourage his confidence and talents in other areas besides studies.
I don’t have any kids yet la, so no experience hehe… don’t know my idea correct or not.
i will combine yr ideas, doc’s and mine and work out something
you & i & numerous other parents have gone down this slippery slope called performance-related reward. children these days aren’t like our time when we studied because we want to or we had to.
but in all fairness, those days there were few distractions, maybe just tv & movies. nowadays, there mp3, chatlines, branded apparel & gameboy, just to name a few.
give them a chance to discover themselves & explore hidden talents. the class position & A scores are just numbers that we have placed too much emphasis on & are over-rated.
you son will be his own man, whether you like it or not. as long as he remains true to his Christian values, let him be & let it be.
i dont know abt this..u make it seem so easy
it is jus that i worry what will bcome of him
Chen, you should have gotten 2nd place in the first term… then you’ll get the gift for first place in the 2nd term.
Bengbeng, I guess it’s the age-old story of the carrot and the stick. Use whatever is the desire of the motivatee. It might be different for different people.
For children, it might teach them what’s important in life though. Since that which is given for good effort MUST be the important things in life, eh?
I dont knowlah Bernard… every day is a journey as a child grows up and learns to question things lah