Bride raped on wedding night
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Pic courtesy of the Borneo Post
There was a conversation going on at lunch today. I happened to be the only guy. The contents portrayed to me a different society from what i thought it was. It is a sign of the changing times.
Background: A bride was raped on her wedding night by her cousin-in-law. He was drunk and left her to go back to his room and slept. When the police came, he was still drunk.
Annie (27 yr old old single )
The girl is so unfortunate. This man should be punished for his crime. If no action is taken, he may perpetuate his crime on others. The police report was the right thing to do.
Terry (36-year-old single )
The husband made the report. The lady should have kept quiet. Of course, in the heat of the moment the husband made the report. But, what’s the point? It is just ‘one act’. Think of the consequences. The bride’s family is brought to shame. The relationship with the husband will suffer. The cousin-in-law’s family will have to suffer. He was drunk. What is there to gain from sending him to jail? The family will forever be split.She was also drunk. She should have taken better care of herself. What if his defense lawyer says that she lured him and only spilled the beans when her husband found out.
Catherine ( 42-year-old married female )
Perhaps it was her first time. This is a man known to her. The best course of action is to negotiate or work out some kind of terms with the family or to keep quiet. She shouldn’t have told her husband. She is only eighteen. Perhaps this makes it excusable. She is practically still a child. But still, she is a fool. She has ruined so many lives .
Sue ( 22 year-old-single )
Hello, she is the innocent victim here. You all seem to have forgotten that.
Catherine
You think we don’t know that? She is a foolish girl. Do things without thinking. There is nothing to gain but everything to lose.
Terry & Annie
Agreed
This conversation in itself is amazing in the sense that the ladies are so cool and pragmatic about the concept of virginity. They don’t exhibit much emotion but instead show depth of perception in analyzing the situation.
It would be interesting to hear how other readers think. Possibly their views may far differ from what was discussed at lunch today or they may agree.
If she was really raped, the husband made the right choice in making the report! No matter even if the girl had drunk a lot or the uncle was drunk - nobody deserves to be raped! Did the uncle care about the girl and family values in the first place? Since he didn’t, why should others care about his dignity?
Being 18 doesn’t mean a person is naive or fool. Sometimes adults have less mentality progression.
it will b hard to get off this charge..but i won’t b surprised the cousin in law doesnt even remember the incident
It just hurts me to read about this happening. It’s a sad thing to happen. Being drunk is not an excuse. Sigh… another family damaged.
so much damage done… crazy
Hmmm…. sad to see these kind of incidents happen again n again!!!
it happens a lot in Sibu too, doesnt it?
Don’t get drunk, ever, esp on your wedding night!!! Or is he/she sorry about it already???
Getting drunk ain’t no way to celebrate.
drinking isnt a macho guy thingy as many ppl think
now a days people like to drink alot until drunk..i always saw alot of teenage drunk along the road side near the pub area…so shame la..cannot drink and pretend can drink…
they jus want to belong
So sad. Especially it happened on a wedding night!
the cousin-in-law must b nuts to abuse the hospitality like this
it’s best to lodge a police report..otherwise, this fucker cousin-in-law will repeat it again and again and again countless times..
many agree with you.
er..when the rape happens the time, where is the husband? what is he doing ar?? Drunk as well, i guess… -_____-”
it is a tradition to entertain guests. nobody expected this to happen
That’s why I always tell myself, never ever get drunk! You won’t know what you are going to do, and I don’t want to regret the minute I open my eyes in the morning.
i experienced it once as a teenager. my sister’s wedding reception. i was like 16 yrs old. i was sad i was the only one not at the main table. felt left out. the main table was oledi full with the groom’s side n bride’s side. I was on a motorcycle to go home. I couldnt continue. I forced myself to throw up
Why are people putting the victim down for alerting what happened? What is society coming to?
The bride has done the right thing. Of course people are hurt and lives destroyed but she didn’t cause that?
Over here, girls have been asked over and over again (advert) to report any rape case and they shouldn’t feel embarassed. A lot of rape cases are not reported because girls are too ashame to say anything and too ashame to go through all the medical examinations which is degrading but hey, the ‘criminal’ needs to be kept away from other innocent girls.
I rest my case!
ok. your point noted. it is relevant. thanks
OMG, if one day not yet die sure got news to see wan.
there will always b news as long as there r people
the destructions alcohol brings
its disturbing to read things like that.
when i read these sorta news - rapes and murders, i always remind myself that we dont know what exactly happened behind and before. after all, we only got a one sided report from the newspaper.
but coming back to this piece of news, i do think reporting it to the police is the best thing to do. a crime is a crime and punishment is neccessary.
alcohol can make a person do what he normally doesnt do
holy crap another rape news.
i still think bringing the bastard to justice is much more important than saving face. cmon, you cant jsut go all “oh you raped my wife but its okay i want to save face so im not going to do anything about it”
cmon, teach that bastard a lesson.
that seems to be the common consensus
Thank God I live in the USA…you people who blame the girl, and think about the family instead of the poor girl are pathetic old world backwards thinking people who are holding the rest of the world down from moving forward. The girl was raped. End of Story. Put the bastard in Jail. I don’t care if it’s your father, your brother, even the husband. Rape is Rape. Pay for your crimes.
Damn, yesterday I had to help my girlfriend with her college assignment on moral issues and I chose sex crimes.
In the assignment I highlighted that it’s the community’s fault that these things happen again and again. We should etch it hard into our brains, “THESE BEHAVIORS WILL NOT BE TOLERATED AT ALL!”, only by then we’d be able to see changes in the trend.
currently our judgments are clouded by the notion that exposing such acts might bring “shame” to oneself and people around the victim.
Offenders bet on that idea. And I’m so speechless, let them go yeah? next time it’ll be someone you really know.
This is a topic which touches people in different ways. it is also a very serious issue.