I have given up living my faith
Character : 39 year old Foochow lady, mother of two. She had once considered pledging herself for her faith but God saw it fit for her to be match-made with a good-honest man.
Wen Wen: I got married fifteen years ago. I had to leave Sibu and follow my husband. We stayed deep in the interior. My in-laws were very harsh on me. I was never sick even for a day. I had to work all day and late into the night. They are non Christians.
I understood and never complained. They were working just as hard. Life was difficult. They were especially lenient on me when I was expecting. I have two boys.
I missed church and church routine very much. Every night before I slept, I prayed and prayed to God. I never gave up hope of attending church in the near future.
I had few possessions. Most of my clothes were thread-bare after such a long time. It is the muddy, river water. After washing once, it loses its new look. The Bible and my rosary were my most prized possessions. I spent much time with the bible going through the verses. My in-laws never forced me to follow their customs. They respected my religion.
One day, a neighbour was going to Sibu. For a small sum of money my husband was able to persuade them to let me tag along on their long boat. I dropped my bags at my family home and rushed to the chapel.
I went straight to the chapel. I wanted to kneel there and weep. To ask God for forgiveness and for strength with my new life. I met the leader. I had admired him very much in the past.
Things didn’t happen the way I expected it to. I got off my knees and walked away.
Until today, I don’t let Sing Kui or Sing Ming go to church. That is not to say that the faith is good or bad. It is just not convenient for me or for us to live separated from society and live in the faith. I will wait for them to grow up and make their own decisions.
Bengbeng | interesting characters
Wen Wen sounds like a very sad woman. I suppose I would be too if I had to live in such suppressed condition.
My heart goes out to her.
she has 2 great sons
Well, I dunno the full story of her life and whatever. But one thing that many people tend to make a mistake is being at a church as the pinnacle to being a christian. That’s wrong. Totally wrong.
And the next big thing is hope. Hope that was placed wrongly. Which really begs the question, is being saved a hope for good or the hope for being with Christ. Very big difference.
And lastly, perseverance. Which is also where faith comes in. If one truly has faith, no matter the tribulations and doubts, s/he must continue to persevere. If not, the characters like Job and the life of Paul are really…meaningless.
It’s funny to realise that God can wait for thousands and thousands of years for mankind, but we can’t even wait for a fraction of that.
This is an unexpected twist on looking at the issue. I never thought of that.