My Longkang

This is for adults 18 years and above. Be forewarned. Proceed at your own risk. It contains vulgar colorful language in the Hockien dialect. The person who told me is my good friend and a former ranking body builder in the state.

A woodcutter and his wife led a frugal existence. One day the farmer met an old man who had fallen into a ditch. The poor starving farmer pitied the old man and gave him his food.

The old man gave him a bow and arrow. Use it wisely to claim your three wishes. Aim it high and shoot. Whatever you wish for before the arrow comes down is yours. You have three wishes.

Excitedly he went home and told his wife. He thought of a nice house and a car. There were so many things and his wife had already shot the arrow. In a rush he shouted, “ Ha mi lan chiou to ai “. Flash…*#%..there was a bright spark and the wish was granted. He found lan jiao all over his body. Bull’s one, horse’s one, buffalo one..u name it, he had it.. and many more all attached to his body,

His wife shrieked in laughter. This enraged the farmer who shot another arrow, “ Ka liao lan jiao wa to mai”. Flash…*#%..there was a bright spark and the wish was granted. Omg..his lan jiao was also gone. His wife shrieked even louder in laughter and rolled on the ground laughing.

Enraged, the farmer launched the third arrow. Wa ai wa ge lan jiao Flash…*#%..there was a bright spark and the wish was granted. He had his lan jiao back . His wife stopped laughing and began to beat him. “You stupid man. We still have nothing”.

He has gone back repeatedly to look for the old man but never found him again. The bow and arrow had vanished into thin air.

So Beng, we all have had our opportunities. God is fair. But it is up to us to make something of ourselves. The minute we stop dreaming, we stop living.

Lan jiao – the male reproductive organ