Night life in Sibu, Green Pub, good times, guilt, family commitments and Chua Soi Lek issue
Before I begin this post, I wish to apologize for not replying comments recently. I have been going through a rough patch. I will do so as soon as I can. It is too late for me to reply comments now.
Tonight my post is a little personal. I was invited to Green Pub to help celebrate a friend’s promotion. Green Pub is owned by Ben, a personal friend. People go there to sing and play snooker. No drugs and no ‘unclean’ activities.
It was great in the sense we were all happy for him. We all knew he deserved it. No doubt about that. The problem was my family. It is difficult to leave the house without feeling guilty. Benghui likes me to be around when he goes to sleep. So, he was unhappy when I had to leave for my appointment.
Where do we draw the line between our social life and family commitments. The night went well and I sang two songs in the karaoke session, Seasons in the Sun and Rhythm of the Falling Rain. But the night was ruined by my feelings of guilt. Mrs BB wasn’t happy too I had to leave the house so late at night since Benghui couldn’t accept the fact I had to leave him for a night out.
Where to draw the line? If I had turned down the invitation, it wouldn’t be nice too. In Asian cultures, this would be considered as not giving face. Benghui is too close to me. Is this a good thing or is it not? I have no answer. What is your opinion? It wasn’t a night where ‘untoward’ things happen. I had a total of two cans of Tiger Beer and it was the same with my friends. I have known these guys for a long time.
They are all married. The general consensus is that guys need a guys’ night occasionally. It is a dilemma for me. I need some space too in my personal life from my family. What would you do in my shoes? Mrs BB would never go to a pub. It is not her scene.
But anyway, the situation that hung over my head for the past few days like a sword is over. Praise God. It diffused with the turn of events. The past few days has been hell. Once again, I wish to record my thanks to friends who have helped me with this issue.
In my opinion, I needed a night out. 
.A patron received a video of the Chua Soi Lek infamous scandal while we were there. He immediately deleted it. He said it was a private affair and not something to gloat about. We all agreed with that. But the lady patrons were less forgiving. It was a difference that was apparent with the difference of perception among the different sexes.
However all agreed he did the right thing by resigning. He got a raw deal though
I hope things get better. These issues are always difficult. I think it mostly depends on the “mood” of the house at the time. You need to keep social contacts. We have a saying “Make friends before you need them”.
- FlyFisher
not that we make frens to make use of them but frens are useful tools in life.
Give and take! Accept or tolerate! These are essential for harmonious living. In any relationship, leave some breathing space, or else the parties concerned may be choked to death. There should be an element of trust and do NOT blow that trust! (I’m sure not all wives are as forgiving as CSL’s! Neither are we…if our wives are the ones in a similar case.) My daughter and I are very close too, so when she was younger, should there be something coming up, I would tell her earlier…and get her approval. She could understand…and she would always say,”1 glass only(beer)!”
You are an exemplary icon here i Sibu
P.S.:
How’s Green Pub? Never been there! Eyew! Your songs are older than me, and that “Seasons in the sun” is a song to avoid - cos u repeat and repeat like an old broken-down record. LOL! Is R&R nicer? Heard you’ve been there. I went once and from the crowd, there were shouts, “Sir! Sir!” Gosh! My ex-students (now in private colleges) and I left immediately! Shy lah! So old in young people’s hangout.
R and R :The boss prepares food for our gatherings if we let him know a few days in advance. pricey but great stuff. Worth it
It is hard to balance your own social life with family life. As long as you show your family lots of care and love, there will be no problem.
Your family cares for you and they are unsure what and who you will encounter. As long as they know who you are with, where you are going, what you are doing there and what time you will be home, they will rest easy.
Since that was your special night out without your family, maybe you can take them out for a special night to show you care for them too.
i think basically I need more breathing space but Mrs needs more companionship. i am an outgoing person so I meet a lot of people.
Mmmmm…kinda don’t understand the feeling…
u don’t? ehmm
I guess it is extra hard for her because as you said, that’s not her scene and because of that, she may have a negative preconception of what it’s like. But at the same time, I do agree that it’s not fair to expect you to turn this kind of social outings because, friends are important too.
I think it’s always best if couples knows each other friends so it’s easier to trust. And where to draw the line? One outing in say two weeks are very different from going out every night or even a few times a week right?
i don’t go out so often lah hahahah
Hey Beng2, we all go through rough patches. Its part of life that we have to overcome. and I am glad you thank God despite them.
Anyway, you brought me to Green pub! I must say I am not too used to the loud music, but for the record, it is a “clean” place. Sterile could be a better word for lack of “action”. But it is mostly for singing the blues kind of pub.
I really dont know how to advice on the question you pose. It is a difficult line to draw. It all boils down to trust between u and your wife.
I can understand her concerns - husband out so late, she is not there, she hears all sort of china-dolls being flown to Sibu, affairs galore, etc.
On the other hand, you dont want to be a party pooper to you buddies.
I am glad I dont have this dilemma because I dont have latenight party buddies. I use to have them when I was single but we all sort of graduated from that.
LOL. I typed one long comment but then caught by your anti spam system. Haha! I just key in the number without realising it is supposed to be a math question. Stupid me.
Hmm, a man need some space and time for himself once in a while. Just like women with their shopping, girly chit chats with their buddies. It is always hard when come to situation like this. But I think if one make it clear where he is going out and with who he is meeting, it shouldn’t be a problem. It depends on your spouse, whether she is more concern on who you are meeting with or spending time with the family. I yet to have family commitment, maybe when I have one, I will ask myself the very question you did.
Hmmm I don’t understand the feeling either (echo’s elvinado sentences).
Son-father closeness is a gift.
sloseness is a gift but he becomes too dependent. i shud b preparing him for adulthood. to b tough to face the world
Oh… happening or not? Got any sexy chicks to play with in Green Pub? Wahahaha….
I think I know where you’re coming from. You’re the good family man-type that seldom have activities of your own (with your buddies). I think that’s an admirable quality to possess, many women would regard you as the perfect family man.
So that’s why you’d feel abit awkward when going out to have fun with your friends - you hardly could have fun because of the sense of guilt clouding you all night long. It’s not something you used to do, it’s unusual. Don’t worry much about it (I’m sure it’s behind you now already anyway), as I’m sure Mrs Bengbeng understood your dilemma very well.
I think it’s okay to socialize, what more they’re your old pals - the most important thing is assurance to Benghui and Mrs BB that it’s going to be a simple night-out without the desserts. One of the ways you can strike a balance is by leaving the pub earlier. It’s a normal thing to do for any happily-married man, so be proud of that!