I married my mother-in-law and my husband
Character : Mid twenties and expecting the first baby.
Fiona: I married too young. I thought i would have a few years after marriage before having a child. The child came within the first month. I have still a few more months to go. My husband is never around as our working hours do not match. My mother in law drops in all the time to spy on me and my housework.
I am a working woman. I do not have much free time. I am also pregnant. Read: I am exhausted by the time I reach home. She will come and look under the food cover, feel the floor with her feet, check-up on the refrigerator. I have to do my laundry every single day as she goes around checking everything clucking sounds of disapproval while offering to help.
My husband isn’t of much help either. He always wants to go home to his family home at least once a day and openly prefers his mother’s cooking. I cook healthy food. I am doing everything I can to carry the baby to full term. The doctor told me to be extra careful. My husband takes light of it. To him, he mother did it easily so he sees no risk at all. I feel so exasperated sometimes.
He leaves for work about 5.30 in the morning as he has to drive a long distance and comes home quite late. I am all alone. If not for my baby, I would seriously consider why I bothered to marry. I am an educated woman earning a reasonable income. My mum wants to come and help me carry the load occasionally but we live far apart and she is worried my mother-in-law will not like it.
Is this how the rest of my life is going to be played out? Isn’t life more than just bearing a child for a man and taking care of his home?
Bengbeng | interesting characters
She should have a serious discussion with hubby and work out a solution. Hubby should be made to be aware of her state of mind at this time. Call these teething problems of adapting to marriage, pregnancy, in-laws, etc. With a full time job on top of house-keeping and carrying a baby at the same time is pretty heavy a burden. This is a different age altogether from the age of agriculture when the whole extended family live together and shared burdens. Different times, different solutions.
both are living very busy lives…it isnt easy but a chat would b good
Yes, I serious ask that question too! Why did she get married to this sort of bloke?
Yes, when u marry someone - you also marry the entire in-laws family. If you dont like the in-laws, why marry in the first place?
Thats why living together with mom-In-laws in the first few years of marriage is a big no-no. The wife has to ween the hubby from the mom’s influence first.
That said, there are plenty of people who are stuck in this situation.
he is actually a very nice guy but young people are young people..they have to experience life before they mature
I can understand how she feel as I am a lady too. Why not talk about it with the hubby? Get a maid to help up in the house work. MIL sometimes is the problem and the person created more problems. That is the reason why I don’t want to stay with in-law and they don’t have my house key. NO NO!!!
newly married couples have to go through a period of adjustment. jus tat a baby on the way so soon throws everything into an accelerated mode. it is always best to b alone during this transient phase
Wuah, I don’t only marry the mil, the sil x 4, the bil x3 and the silx4 husbands, and their children and grandchildren but that’s life, I guess. But I have a remedy for myself. Set down rules, show the black face and forever tell them ‘I only take this much shit, the rest is not my problems. Get out of my life, kapish.’ Because there is no point in ‘eat heart alone’ and suffer because eventually, it will lead to the same end. Then again, I do not know the couple’s real situation, just sharing my own.
A marriage is a union of a man and a woman, about Two People wanting to be together and through thick and thin, still be together and fight for just one word, Happiness.
Nobody said that a Marriage is easy to maintain therefore these Two People (Husband Wife) must make the effort to build solid ground first. Communication is the key. If you fail to communicate now, the problem will only build up until the marriage eventually breaks down.
If one party decides to neglect, ignore or give up on the other half, then this marriage is not worth fighting for anymore. Always go back to the basics, to the point where you both started. Why are you both together in the first place and why did you both then decide to get married?
If you both decide to want to be together, then work on it.
=)
it’s a pity that your husband dont know the law of ”leaving and cleaving” in marriage the bible says the man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. that is maturity in marriage which the must have attained before getting into marriage ,
http://marriagecommonlaw.net/
They must sit down and talk it out before matters get worse.
that’s how things goes la .. kenot run away from it. but yeah i do agree, talking things out to find a solution for it is one of the way la .. but then we all know that when it comes to family matters people tend to get a little selfish sometimes. you know i know la
you know i know wat? know tat u got a girl friend liao?
My advice for her is,not to worry about rest of her life as she is pregnant now, she should take care of her health and her baby.Later she should talk freely to her husband and make him to understand her feelings.They should have proper understanding between eachother.
totally agreed
I am in a similiar in-law situation. My husband and I have been married for 2 years and are expecting our 1st child. I have worked hard all of my life from getting a great education and now a wonderful career. My husband’s credit was & is not up to par, so when we married everything (the house, cars, etc.) went into my name. He has a great job and his income definitely helps out, but he would literally still be living with his mom if it weren’t for me. We have helped his family financially, and it has recently reached a boiling point. I feel our household needs have to be met, but he feels I am stingy for not wanting to always run to help his family out. My family is not used to handouts, nor do we ask for them. His family feels the world owes them everything. I feel I am working hard to pay for his family and their wants. All I can do is pray the Lord reveals to him how to be a husband and cover me because I am at a breaking point. He needs to realize I, as his wife, come first and your husband needs to realize the same. He needs to be a man and tell his mom to stop meddling in your business.