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| From Untitled Album |
A mother was teaching her 3 year old daughter the Lord’s prayer. For several evenings at bedtime she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end
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| From Untitled Album |
“Lead us not into temptation” she prayed, “but deliver us some E-mail**, Amen”.
** should be deliver us from evil
While standing at heaven’s gate, St Peter realizes he has to go to the toilet. He asks Jesus to stand in for him for a few minutes.
Jesus takes his place at the desk where people are waiting to get in. An elderly man appears and Jesus asks, “Grandpa, what did you do back on Earth?”
“Well.”, says the man, “I was a carpenter, had a long beard, white hair, and was poor. I once had a son born of a miracle, who became very famous and was loved by people all around the world, especially the children.”
Jesus starts to cry and says, “Papa!”
The old man looks at him in surprise and teary-eyed, replies: “Pinocchio”
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| From welcoming ceremony |
We felt so welcome. They were so graceful, polite and may I use the word ‘gentle’. It was an honor to be their guests. In fact I find it is always an honor to be their guests.
A guy from Kuching visited Sibu recently and visited the blind centre. He had a massage and when it was over , it was already late. He thanked the masseur and said, “It is night already so be careful when you walk down the stairs.” The masseur said, ” Tauke, I am a blind man, morning or night it is all the same to me 
It really happened and shows us how most of us have hearts of gold but don’t really understand the needs of those we are actually trying to help.
Some blind people can see just a little but this particular person cannot see at all.
God was looking down from heaven when he saw a group of people planting padi, enjoying themselves singing praises to their creator. (more…)
Mr Lee always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply, “It could have been worse.” To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Lee could find no hope in it.
On the badminton court one day, one of them said, “Lee, did you hear about Alan? He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the gun on himself!”
“That`s awful,” said Mr Lee, “But it could have been worse.”
“How in the hell,” asked his bewildered friend, “Could it have been worse?”
“Well,” replied Mr Lee, “If it happened the night before, I would be a dead man.”
Last night, an incident took place at Boat Quay. What happened was some idiot was trying to show off and declared that he would swim across the Singapore River. He jumped in and started swimming. But before he could reach the halfway mark, he started to panic and started to shout for help.
Being typical Singaporeans, a crowd started to gather to watch and yet no attempt was made by anybody to save that poor chap.
1. Eating Dogs
Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other, “I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.”
“Odd,” her companion replies, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.”
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards him. “Two dogs, please,” says one.
The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs
in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the nuns hurry
to a bench and begin to unwrap their ‘dogs.’
The mother superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and, then, staring at it for a moment, leans to the other nun and whispers cautiously, “What part did you get?”
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